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Funny Quotes |
| 1. |
"In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows."
Woody Allen |
| 2. |
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
Woody Allen |
| 3. |
"Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman."
Woody Allen |
| 4. |
"My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers."
Woody Allen |
| 5. |
"My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
Woody Allen |
| 6. |
"My wife and I pondered for a while whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."
Woody Allen |
| 7. |
"Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate."
Woody Allen |
| 8. |
"I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's about Russia."
Woody Allen |
| 9. |
"Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night."
Woody Allen |
| 10. |
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down."
Woody Allen |
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