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Funny Quotes |
| 1. |
"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Woody Allen. |
| 2. |
"The trouble with heart disease is that the first symptom is often hard to deal with - sudden death."
Michael Phelps |
| 3. |
"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
Emo Philips. |
| 4. |
"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
Johnny Carson. |
| 5. |
"A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student."
Ambrose Bierce |
| 6. |
"If your time hasn't come, not even a doctor can kill you."
MA Perlstein |
| 7. |
"At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual."
Patrick Moore. |
| 8. |
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying."
Woody Allen. |
| 9. |
"There are three natural anaesthetics: Sleep, fainting, and death."
Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| 10. |
"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
Groucho Marx. |
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