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Funny Quotes |
| 21. |
"My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?"
Margaret Smith. |
| 22. |
"I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death."
Phyllis Diller |
| 23. |
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down."
Woody Allen. |
| 24. |
"Picasso was a delightful, kindly, friendly, simple little man. When I met him he was extremely excited and overjoyed that his mother-in-law had just died, and he was looking forward to the funeral."
Edith Sitwell |
| 25. |
"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere."
George Burns. |
| 26. |
"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."
Ed Furgol. |
| 27. |
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
Rita Rudner. |
| 28. |
"When I came back to Dublin I was court-martialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence."
Brendan Behan |
| 29. |
"The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty."
Quentin Crisp |
| 30. |
"When you've told someone that you've left them a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once."
Samuel Butler. |
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