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Funny Quotes |
| 1. |
"When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me."
Carrot Top. |
| 2. |
"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
Dave Barry. |
| 3. |
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Mitch Hedberg. |
| 4. |
"My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father."
Wendy Leibman. |
| 5. |
"If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"
Steven Wright. |
| 6. |
"Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines."
Joan Rivers. |
| 7. |
"Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he spent two weeks at a nudist colony."
Johnny Carson. |
| 8. |
"He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news."
Bertolt Brecht. |
| 9. |
"At school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with themselves'."
PJ O'Rourke. |
| 10. |
"Denial aint just a river in Egypt."
Mark Twain. |
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