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Funny Quotes Welcome to Aardvark Archie's Guide to FUNNY QUOTES , the site that knows a funny quote when it hears one!
For the best in Adult funny quotes and really humorous quotations and witticism, just click on the links below to get viewing some of the funniest quotations, funny celebrity insults and adult humor around!
FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT FOOD & EATING
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# Funny Quotes
11. "'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'."
Dave Barry.
12. "Personally I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get."
George Burns
13. "Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal."
Voltaire.
14. "Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in it's infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary."
Oscar Wilde
15. "Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
Jo Brand.
16. "I'm at the age when food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
Rodney Dangerfield
17. "The perfect lover is one who turns into pizza at 4am."
Charles Pierce.
18. "I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There's no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward."
John Mortimer
19. "Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen."
Woody Allen.
20. "Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
Henry Miller
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