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Funny Quotes |
| 11. |
"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
Joan Rivers. |
| 12. |
"No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off."
Alan Bennett. |
| 13. |
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'."
Charlie Brown. |
| 14. |
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."
George Burns. |
| 15. |
"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable."
Mark Twain. |
| 16. |
"I would have made a good Pope."
Richard Nixon. |
| 17. |
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself."
Peter O'Toole. |
| 18. |
"It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher."
Linda Evangelista. |
| 19. |
"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
Jim Carrey. |
| 20. |
"When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read."
Hillaire Belloc. |
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